Saturday, January 16, 2010

Swatchdogs & Diet Cokeheads



Megan gave me the deluxe edition of Heathers for christmas and it really is the gift that keeps on giving. First of all, the miniature locker looks so very on my bookshelf and it totally compliments my Tippi Hedren Barbie and my Cher Barbie. Secondly it's filled with wonderful things like Heathers magnets, a "What's your damage" t-shirt, and most importantly, the "special features" bonus disc. Here are some things that I learned:

-Shannon Doherty ran out of the premiere crying because she didn't think that it was going to be a comedy, even after delivering lines like "Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?" Shannon Doherty is stupid.

-Heather Graham was originally cast as Heather McNamara but she was underage at the time and her parents would not give consent because they were disturbed by the script.

-Jennifer Connelly was the first choice for Veronica.

-The screenwriter wanted Stanley Kubrick to direct but he passed. God, how amazing would that funeral fantasy sequence be?

-The movie was supposed to end with Veronica blowing up the school. This was followed by a fantasy sequence of a prom where everyone was nice to each other. The punch bowl was filled with Draino. I can only hope that corn nuts, mineral water and slushies from the Snappy Snack Shack were also involved.

-In another ending Martha Dumptruck shoots Veronica in the mouth and says "Fuck You Heather." This is in response to Veronica's invitation to hang out after school. Veronica is then left on the floor bleeding and mumbling "I'm not Heather."

I also recently learned that Kim Walker, who played the megabitchy Heather Chandler, died from a brain tumor. While this is obviously tragic it's also quite ironic given the classic "Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?" line. Also, I was shocked to discover that Michael Lehmann, who directed Heathers, also directed the appallingly bad Because I Said So, which is literally the worst movie that I have ever seen except for maybe Le Divorce.

Oh, and this Heathers megapost would not be complete without addressing the sequel rumors. Unfortunately there are no plans for a sequel at this time. However, there will be a broadway musical starring Kristen Bell (as Veronica) and a television show. Really very!


No comments:

Post a Comment